Your Child’s Development

Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Development

This guide shares some important information concerning what you can expect to see your child doing at different ages. It also includes helpful tips and ideas for you as a parent to support your child in their growth and development, no matter their age.

Remember, while children develop following the same general patterns, there are individual differences in how each child learns and grows. It can be normal for your child to meet a milestone a little earlier or later than listed in this guide.

If you have any concerns about your child’s development, or see that they are not meeting the milestones for their age, it is important to discuss these concerns with your healthcare provider.

If your child was born prematurely, has autism, ADHD, chronic illness, or another disability or delay, this can affect their growth and development.

Using Your Child’s Adjusted Age

If your child was born prematurely, they are likely to meet milestones according to their adjusted age (corrected age). To calculate your child’s adjusted age, you subtract the number of weeks early your baby was from their actual age. For example, a 10 week old baby who was born 4 weeks early has an adjusted age of 6 weeks (10-4=6). Adjusted age is usually used for the first 2 years of life when considering developmental milestones.

Birth to 2 Weeks

After birth, your baby has a lot of adjusting to do! Life outside the womb is full of sights, sounds, and sensations that are new.

Your baby will sleep 17+ hours a day. Most of their awake time will be dedicated to eating and diapering.
Your baby will eat every 2-4 hours, day and night.
Your baby will communicate mainly through crying, but will begin to offer other cues for being tired or hungry.
Your baby will have poor vision, and will only see 8-12 inches away.
Your baby will loose their umbilical cord. Follow cord care as directed by your doctor.

Hold your baby close, especially while feeding them. Offer skin-to-skin contact when possible. Let them look at your face.
Seek help from a lactation consultant and/or pediatrician if you suspect any feeding issues or are having troubles breastfeeding comfortably and effectively.
Get rest and take care of yourself. Moms can expect to experience “baby blues” during the first few weeks after birth due to hormonal changes after pregnancy. More serious post-partum depression and anxiety can occur and it is important to seek help from a doctor or mental health professional.
Make sure your baby is having enough wet and dirty diapers in a 24 hour period. Ask your doctor if you are unsure what is normal.

The First Month

Social/Emotional Development:
- May become more expressive with facial expressions, though still not smiling
- Recognizes mother’s scent
Physical Development
- Retains newborn reflexes
- May hold neck up for brief moments
Language Development
- Turns toward familiar sounds
Cognitive Development
- Startles with loud noises
- Naps frequently, which aids in brain development

Offer tummy time. As time goes on, your baby will tolerate longer tummy time sessions, but it is important to offer regular tummy time, even just for a minute or two.
Take your child to regular doctor appointments and follow your doctor’s advice.
Feed breastmilk or formula on demand, usually every 2-4 hours. Do not offer water, juice, cow milk, or homemade formula.
Hold your baby while feeding them. Do not feed them in a swing, bouncer, or other baby equipment. Look at them and allow them to see your face during feedings and throughout the day.
Offer high contrast black and white images that your baby may enjoy looking at.
Always follow current safe sleep guidelines to prevent accident or injury. Ask your doctor for more information or check aap.org.
Make sure your baby is correctly restrained in an infant car seat for vehicle travel. Free car seat checks are available at many local health departments.

2-3 Months

Social/Emotional Development:
- Smiles when you talk to them
- Calms down when picked up
- Looks at caregiver’s face
Physical Development
- Moves arms and legs
- Opens hands
- Can hold head up when lying on tummy
Language Development
- Reacts to loud sounds
- Makes new sounds besides crying
Cognitive Development
- Focuses on an object for a few seconds
- Watches parents’ movements

Respond positively to your baby. Smile at them. Pick them up when they need comfort.
Limit your own screen time when you are around your baby. Let them see your face. Do not allow them to have screen time.
Give your baby “tummy time,” laying them on a safe clean spot on the floor on their belly so they can practice strengthening their muscles.
Do not leave them in swings, strollers, or other equipment for long periods of time.
Always lay them on their back on a safe, flat surface to sleep.
Do not shake your baby. If you are feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, lay them in a safe place and take a break or ask for help.
Let your baby look at themselves in a mirror.
Talk to your baby as you bathe and feed them, change diapers, etc.

3-6 Months

Social/Emotional Development:
- Smiles on their own
- Moves or makes sounds to get your attention
Physical Development
- Holds head without support
- Brings hands/toys to mouth
- Pushes up on arms when on tummy
Language Development
- Makes cooing vowel sounds
- Turns head toward the sound of your voice
- Responds to your voice with sounds
Cognitive Development
- Opens their mouth when they see a breast/bottle
- Shows interest in their own hands

Offer only breastmilk and/or formula. Hold your baby when you feed them. This is a great time to put your phone down, look at your baby, and talk or sing to them. Consult with a pediatrician before introducing other foods and drinks.
Establish routines for sleeping and eating. Most babies have 3 naps a day at this age, and sleep about 12 hours at night, with some night wakings still being common.
Sing, talk, and read to your baby.
Offer your baby simple toys. They may enjoy watching you move the toy back and forth.
Copy the sounds your baby makes.
Play simple games like peek-a-boo and patty cake.
Pay attention to how your baby responds to different objects and situations to learn their likes and dislikes.
Respond positively to your baby. Smile at them, talk to them, and show excitement when you see them.

6-12 Months

Social/Emotional Development:
- Laughs
- Recognizes familiar people
- Is wary of strangers and clingy to caregivers
Physical Development
- Rolls from belly to back
- Can get into a sitting position
  - Moves things from one hand to the other
Language Development
- Makes squealing sounds
- Makes sounds like “babababa”
- Lifts arms to be picked up
Cognitive Development
- Bangs to objects together
- Explores by putting things in mouth
- Reaches to grab a toy

Copy the facial expressions and sounds your child makes.
Put toys just out of reach to encourage your baby to move toward them.
Allow plenty of time to play on the floor, including tummy time. Avoid leaving your baby in a swing, car seat, bouncer, or other equipment for extended periods.
Continue to follow your baby’s cues to know when they are hungry or full
Safely hold your baby up so that they can see the world around them.
Avoid screen time. Screen time before age 2 is not recommended.
Sing songs, repeat rhymes, and play music for your baby.
Help your baby learn to calm down. Soothe them when they are upset.

12-18 Months

Social/Emotional Development:
- Plays games like peek-a-boo or patty cake
- Claps to show excitement
- Brings you an object to show it to you
Physical Development
- Takes a few steps without help
- Can drink from a cup with no lid
- Grasps small objects with thumb and pointer
Language Development
- Waves goodbye
- Calls caregiver “mama,” “dada,” or other name
- Uses pointing to communicate or ask for things
Cognitive Development
- Can stack two objects like blocks or toys
- Searches for a hidden object
- Puts objects into a container

Build on what your child says. If they say “ba,” say “Yes, that is a ball!”
Give your baby a chance to try new foods. They may need to try things multiple times before they like it.
Expect spills and messes as your child eats and plays. Remember they are learning and exploring.
Baby proof your home so that they can safely explore.
Help your baby practice walking along furniture and by holding their hands.
Your baby may be ready to drop to one nap a day and should be sleeping ~11-12 hours at night. Establish a simple routine to help them fall asleep for naps and bedtime.
Limit screen time, as it is not recommended before age 2. Take time to read and play with your baby.

18-24 Months

Social/Emotional Development:
- Points to show you something interesting
- Begins to play make believe
- Notices when others are hurt or upset
Physical Development
- Climbs on and off a chair without help
- Eats with a spoon
- Walks and runs
- Kicks a ball
Language Development
- Follows one-step directions
- Points to things in a book
- Recognizes names of familiar people
- Begins to put two words together
Cognitive Development
- Plays with two toys at the same time
- Copies what others are doing
- Begins to sort objects by size or color

Provide balls for your child to throw and kick.
Let your child help with tasks like picking up toys, sweeping, and setting the table. Thank them for their help.
Talk about things you see while out on walks, at the store, or in the car.
Allow your child to practice drinking out of a cup with no lid.
Offer simple choices to your child, such as “Do you want ____ or ___?”
Know that tantrums are normal for this age. You can try to offer a distraction, or safely ignore the tantrum until your child calms down.
Speak to your child in full sentences and use correct pronunciation for words.

3-4 Years

Social/Emotional Development:
- Notices and plays with other children
- Comforts others who are sad
- Likes to help
Physical Development
- Can put on some clothes without help
- Uses a fork
- Can catch a large ball
- Can serve themselves food or drink
Language Development
- Speaks well enough for others to understand
- Is able to say their own name
- Can tell something they did during the day
- Uses sentences with at least 4 words.
Cognitive Development
- Understands danger
- Draws a person with 3+ body parts
- Remembers events from well-known stories

Encourage your child to do things on their own. Allow them space to problem solve on their own before stepping in. Ask them questions to get them thinking about possible solutions, i.e. “What kind of tool could you use?” or “Where could you put that?”
Read out loud to your child often. Ask them questions like “What do you think will happen next?” to get them thinking an engaged with the story.
Teach your child simple songs, games, tongue twisters and nursery rhymes.
Invite your child to help you prepare a meal, including stirring, measuring, setting the table.
Encourage your child to play with other children.
Let them do activities such as drawing and coloring, play-dough, lacing cards, beading, etc., that strengthen their small muscles and prepare them to learn to write.

5-6 Years

Social/Emotional Development:
- Follows rules when playing games
- Does simple chores to help at home
- Begin to care what others think of them
Physical Development
- Baby teeth start to fall out
- Can hop on one foot
- Can button and unbutton some buttons
Language Development
- Recognizes simple rhymes
- Can answer questions about a story
- Begin to understand jokes and puns
Cognitive Development
- Begins to learn letter names and sounds
- Pays attention to an activity for 10 mins
- Recognizes numbers and learns simple math

Praise positive behavior and set clear expectations for your child
Talk about feelings. You can talk about your own feelings, your child’s feelings, and discuss what book or movie characters might be feeling and why.
Encourage your child to play with other children and form friendships with peers.
Teach your child what to do if they get lost. Help them memorize your phone number.
Help your child learn letter names and sounds. As they begin to learn to read, encourage them to practice often and have patience with them as they try their best.
Establish a consistent bedtime routine. Your child should be getting 10-13 hours of sleep each night.
Encourage your child to be active each day. Play with them.

7-8 Years

Social/Emotional Development:
- Desires more independence
- Wants to be accepted by friends and peers
- More independent in self-care tasks
Physical Development
- Better handwriting
- More coordinated body movements
- Continues losing baby teeth
Language Development
- Continues to expand vocabulary
- Tends to talk a lot with people they know well
- Improves reading and writing skills
Cognitive Development
- Solves simple math problems
- Understands time
- Can count by 2s and 5s

Show your child affection. Give them your time and attention.
Establish clear rules and be consistent in enforcing them. Make sure your child understands expectations and consequences.
Help your child set their own goals and work to accomplish them.
Offer healthy foods and encourage active play. Continue to take your child to annual well child checks and dental cleanings.
Set limits around screen time, ideally no more than 1 hour per day. Monitor the content your child is viewing and teach them about online safety.
Take turns reading to each other. Encourage them to learn at school and at home. Be available to help with homework. Attend parent-teacher conferences and other school meetings.
Do fun things together at home.

9-10 Years

Social/Emotional Development:
- Enjoys team and group activities
- Friendships are more important
- Still enjoys and gets along with parents
Physical Development
- Has lost most baby teeth
- May experience early signs of puberty (girls)
Language Development
- Can read and understand longer passages
- Can write a simple story
Cognitive Development
- Makes better decisions and can make plans
- Understands fractions
- Reads chapter books

Spend time with your child. Show interest in the things that are important to them.
Talk about peer pressure and situations that might come up for them. Help them navigate drama and problems with peers.
Meet your child’s friends (and their families when possible)
Establish clear rules and be consistent in sticking to them.
Encourage your child to read and do homework every day.
Talk to them about puberty and the changes that are coming or already happening. Normalize these changes and don’t make your child feel embarrassed.
Hug your child often and tell them how much you love them
Help your child set their own goals and pursue their dreams

11-12 Years

Emotional Development:
- Begin to establish their own identity
- May experience mood swings
- Feel confused by their many emotions
Physical Development
- Many girls begin to have a growth spurt
- Girls may have their first period
- Many boys may not start a growth spurt yet
Social Development
- Look to peers for support
- Friendships become increasingly important
Cognitive Development
- Begin to grasp abstract concepts
- May be self-centered
- Tend to focus on the present

Have patience with yourself and your child. This is a time of life that can be confusing and full of change.
Continue to spend time with your child, but also give them space and time to hang out with friends. Get to know their friends and encourage healthy, positive friendships.
Talk to your child about peer pressure, pornography, drugs, the internet, and other dangers that they might encounter with their friends and peers.
Know where your child is and which adults are present with them.
Continue to show interest in your child’s schoolwork, hobbies and extracurricular activities. Whenever possible, join them in these activities, help with homework, or attend their events.
Teach your child the value of money. You may choose to implement a system of allowance or earning spending money.

13-14 Years

Emotional Development:
- Experience more moodiness
- Feel stress from school and peer relationships
- Better able to express feelings
Physical Development
- Many boys begin to have a growth spurt
- Boys may develop facial hair
- Girls will often be taller than boys at this age
Social Development
- Begin to care more about appearance
- Increasingly influenced by peers
- Want to spend more time with friends
Cognitive Development
- Capable of more complex thoughts
- Understand symbolism
- Greater sense of right and wrong

Maintain open communication with your child. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything. Ask them questions to encourage conversation.
Family dinner is a great way to encourage healthy eating habits and strengthen relationships. Find time each week to share meals together.
Know who your child’s friends, coaches and teachers are, since these people greatly influence your child.
Help your child get enough sleep (8-10 hours per day)
Teach your child to keep their body safe by wearing a seatbelt, helmet, or other appropriate safety equipment.
Take your child to the doctor for regular checkups.
Teach your child to be safe online and monitor their internet usage. If they have a phone, use parental controls to keep them safe.

15-16 Years

Emotional Development:
- Mood swings and hormonal changes
- Improved emotion regulation skills
Physical Development
- Continues changing due to puberty
Social Development
- Shows more independence from parents
- Has more interest in dating and relationships
- Spends less time with family and more with friends
Cognitive Development
- Begins to reason and think more logically
- Better at grasping abstract concepts

Talk to your child about how they are feeling and the changes they are experiencing
Maintain open dialogue about topics such as drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, and suicide so that you can teach them how to make healthy and safe choices, resist peer pressure, and ask for help when needed.
Show affection and tell them you love them.
Make an effort to spend time together doing things your teen enjoys.
Encourage them to complete homework and schoolwork on time. Allow them to participate in teams and clubs that interest them.
Respect your teenager’s need for privacy.
Get to know their friends. Only allow them to go to parties and gatherings that you feel are safe and appropriate.

17 Years

Emotional Development:
- Better behavioral and emotional regulation
- May feel a lot of sadness or depression
Physical Development
- Has likely reached adult height
- Physical changes due to puberty end
Social Development
- Friendships are increasingly important
- Develops romantic relationships
- Susceptible to peer pressure
Cognitive Development
- Improved ability to think abstractly
- Thinks more logically, but still less mature than an adult brain

Encourage your teen to get enough sleep (8-10 hours).
Encourage independence. Have your teen help with laundry, yard work, and other tasks at home.
Allow your teen to volunteer or get a job.
Teach your teen about finances and help them feel prepared for the future.
Encourage your teen to make plans for their future and take advantage of academic and other opportunities.
Teach your child about safe sexual choices and relationships.
Monitor your teenager’s use of the internet, gaming, social media, etc. Have clear rules and boundaries, including consequences for not following the rules.

18 Years

Emotional Development:
- Increased ability to empathize
- Better emotion regulation skills
- May experience stress with big decisions
Physical Development
- Is sexually mature
- Is likely done growing
Social Development
- Develops more intimate relationships
- Better able to cooperate with others
Cognitive Development
- May finish secondary education and prepare for post-secondary work or education

Encourage independence by allowing your teen to do things for themselves. Do not solve all of their problems or rescue them from small dilemmas, but allow them the space to be independent.
Allow your teen to experience the consequences of their actions; this will help them learn.
Prepare your child for adulthood by encouraging responsibility.
Spend time with your teen doing things they enjoy. Show interest in what they are involved in.
Make sure your child has a space to call their own and that they are allowed some privacy.
Talk to your child often, about big and small things. Listen to them when they want to talk to you. If you are busy, let them know you are interested and make time to listen to them later.

Helping Young Adult Children Transition to Independent Living

Give your child space to be independent, but also be willing to help them navigate things that are new for them like paying bills, choosing insurance, signing contracts, etc.
Watch for signs of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts during this transitional time. Encourage your child to seek professional help if needed.
Be a healthy role model.
Be willing to give advice, but also accept advice and feedback from your adult child. Keep communication open and respectful.
Clearly communicate expectations with your child, especially if they are still living in your home.
Set boundaries with your adult child regarding finances, housing, etc. Let them know when and how you are able to help, but don’t be afraid to put limits on things that are unreasonable or that cause stress or strain for you.
If your child has not yet learned financial literacy skills, help them learn tools for success.

Remember, that while they will always be your child, they are now an adult. You need to respect their choices and give them the freedom to live their own lifestyle. Be cautious about overstepping boundaries.

Remember to focus on your relationship with them and continue to show them love and support as they find their own way in the world.